Hi, I'm @arazgholami, Programmer, Blogger and Explorer. I create things and make them better. I'm a repairer, not replacer.I love to transform complex things to simple things.

January 21, 2020, Istanbul (maybe the first snow)
===
Because Istanbul is surrounded by the sea, it has a relatively mild climate. Except for rare times when strong winds make the rain cold and annoying, most of the time Istanbul’s weather is warm and bearable. Today, however, unlike before, I noticed darkness in the morning due to black clouds over the city. After a call from my mom saying the news predicted snow, I kept one eye on the monitor and one on the window, waiting for the first snow in this not-so-lovable city. (Fond memories of Ankara (https://arazgholami.com/tag/%d8%a2%d9%86%da%a9%d8%a7%d8%b1%d8%a7/).)

With almost all company employees resigned or fired and the boss absent most of the time, I am almost always alone at the office. I open the doors myself, turn on the lights, make coffee and tea, and after nine hours of dealing with my remote team, I turn off the lights and leave. This social loneliness combined with the prison-like solitude of my home and lack of any friends or recreation to enjoy the remaining hours of the day makes me feel like I’m heading to the office as if walking to the gallows every morning.

Recent days at the office haven’t been far from hell. According to Turkey’s new law and my request for an urgent work visa, the company boss spares no effort—including severe psychological pressure—to dissuade me. From counting every line of code I wrote and reprimanding me for too few lines, to insisting that I’m responsible for collecting cups and putting them in the dishwasher. On top of that, I’m scolded for having no sense of ownership over company projects, doing tasks merely to finish quickly. Meanwhile, a glance at the envelope of documents for my work visa, which has been collecting dust on the boss’s back desk for two weeks, catches my eye. Returning to my room, a firm punch to the wall breaks the skin on my MCP hand joint. A huge amount of anger has built up inside me, which I hope doesn’t lead to something even more foolish.

Illness (https://arazgholami.com/9-january-2020-istanbul/) and boredom from the above conditions have drained all energy for even the smallest movement, and my home is increasingly resembling a stable.

Lack of stability, the inability to rent a better home, and consequently the impossibility of cooking means I eat all my meals in restaurants and cafés, without exception. This has led to a large portion of my income being spent just on food. In short, I work practically only to survive.

A few days ago, in a tunnel-like corridor connecting two metro exits, a middle-aged Iranian man with 7–8 women blocked my way, searching for the “Löwent” mall. He said, “Löwent mall?” insisting he needed directions. I explained that there’s no mall named Löwent in this area—Löwent is the name of the district, and the four shopping centers Metrocity, Özdilek, Kanyon, and Safir were likely what he meant. He argued, insisting, “I’ve lived in Turkey for years, I’m sure it’s called Löwent mall,” claiming I was wrong. When I told him again that no such mall exists, he replied that it does and it’s even classier than American malls. I finally guided him to Kanyon based on the description of an open-air mall.

Update:No snow fell; instead, the sun came out like it was midsummer. Apparently, the longing for Istanbul’s snow will remain unfulfilled.

Tuesday 04:22 AM, 21 January 2020
Share: https://arazgholami.com/21-january-2020-istanbul

- مهدی ** at *Saturday 07:31 PM, 30 August 2025*:
سلامتی از هرچیزی مهم تر است... هرکی فکر میکنه اولویت اول تری از سلامتی وجود داره، بره سلمونی کله ش رو بزنه.... مراقب سلامتی تون خیییییییییییلی باشید.