Hi, I'm @arazgholami, Programmer, Blogger and Explorer.I create things and make them better. I'm a repairer, not replacer.I love to transform complex things to simple things.

What is FOMO and How to Deal with Its Dilemma
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Note: This is one of those posts where lack of time doesn’t allow for elaboration, but it’s so important that I’m sharing scattered notes as they are.

Years ago, when a friend bought a house, I was thrown off balance for two weeks. It felt like a blow to my head, and everything I was doing daily seemed pointless. The thought repeating in my mind was: what do you lack compared to this person that they got a house while you’re just, for example, listening to music?

Those two agonizing weeks passed until my mother asked how old my friend was. When I said they were 10 years older than me, it calmed me down a bit. Yet I still couldn’t feel satisfied with my situation, and even though I knew my circumstances were the dream of perhaps millions, my mind and soul were still deeply disturbed.

I always considered this feeling a form of envy, but when explaining it to others, I emphasized that I wasn’t upset by their success—in fact, I was happy for them. I was only upset that I hadn’t achieved something similar.

Later, someone clarified that what I was experiencing is called FOMO. Read about it.

FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) is that feeling of being left out. Sometimes it’s mistakenly thought of as envy, but as I said, it has nothing to do with envy. FOMO is that sad feeling when you’re studying and hear children playing outside, and it distracts you.

FOMO is also the feeling you get when you order food at a restaurant and think everyone else’s dish looks better than yours.

FOMO has troubled humans for thousands of years, but research on it only began in 1996.

FOMO is your fear of these questions: Am I forgotten? Does anyone remember me? Am I important to anyone?

Two pieces of news: the bad news is there’s no cure or way to eliminate this fear, because it stems from some of the most fundamental human questions.

The good news is that this fear can be controlled and even used as fuel to drive your life forward, with one condition: complete emotional control, self-awareness, and mastery over it.

Now, the dilemma. You can overcome FOMO with the following techniques:


  Identify your triggers: Understanding what sparks FOMO gives you the ability to prevent it.
  Enjoy being left out: Accepting that you are missing out and can do nothing about it can reduce the feeling. [Think of backgammon: before your opponent rolls doubles, stress consumes you, but afterward, you just play for the experience.]
  Meditate: This seemingly solves every problem.
  Focus on the present: Whether you like it or not, you’ve missed out. Sitting and feeling depressed changes nothing. Instead, focus on the present moment and the tasks you are doing, which you may even excel at.


Or, use FOMO and the tension it brings to reach where you want. How? With planning (https://arazgholami.com/how-to-make-a-life-plan/) and sticking to that plan.

Friday 12:02 PM, 19 May 2023
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