Araz Gholami

Some things you realize all of a sudden. Like the arrival of autumn, the end of winter, letting go, falling in love, aging, missed opportunities, realizing you’re no longer a teenager, realizing you can’t wear Converse shoes anymore. Like finishing high school and realizing you’re no longer a high schooler. Finishing college and realizing your student days are over. Starting military service and losing your freedom. Finishing military service and realizing you no longer have any excuses to "waste time." Entering adulthood. Buying a one-way plane ticket. Getting married and realizing the night before was the last night you lived just for yourself. Losing a parent and suddenly realizing what you had and lost.

If you fully understand the feeling I mean, loneliness is also in this category. Every morning and night you talk about it and hear about it, but at a particular moment, you suddenly realize you’re alone. Really alone. So much that you wish you could go back and laugh at yourself, imagining one day standing on the Beşiktaş pier, looking happily at the sea.

Currently listening to İlk Məhəbbət (First Love) by Ramiz Guliyev

"As you said, brother. We are truly very lonely."
- The Losers’ Assembly (2011)

Reflection of this post in RadioBlogiha, Spring 2019, Issue 3