Araz Gholami

Do you plan to start working out on Monday? Quit a bad habit next week? Wake up earlier to tackle unfinished tasks after just one more binge-watch session? Maybe you’ll open that book right after one last scroll through Instagram?

You won’t.

Motivational speakers with their polished smiles, self-help books with tempting titles, and countless online articles won’t tell you what you truly need to know. They give you endless to-do lists but skip the most critical part: how to begin. How do you muster the energy to take that first step?

They won’t tell you because they often don’t know. They don’t understand the weight of everyday struggles or how life’s instability can paralyze you. If the foundation is shaky, it doesn’t matter how solid the bricks are.

Crying Doesn’t Work Anymore

Think about when you were a baby. Crying was your strategy to get what you wanted, and it worked. But as you grew up, the world stopped responding to tears. The problem? No one taught you a better way. That old habit—complaining, worrying, procrastinating—stayed with you.

But here’s the truth: complaining won’t get you anywhere.

Stop Looking for Reasons to Act

You don’t need another reason to start. Reasons don’t drive action; they create guilt when you don’t follow through.

Instead, start by identifying the reasons not to do something. Write down everything you think you need to do, then go line by line and ask yourself:

1. Why shouldn’t I do this?
   If you find a valid reason, cross it off your list.
2. Why can’t I do this?
   Be honest. The answer is often emotional exhaustion, lack of joy, or distraction.

The Secret Ingredient: Emotional Fuel

The real problem? You’re missing emotional and psychological fuel—joy. Without it, Instagram wins over meaningful tasks every time.

But you don’t need to create joy; it’s already in your life. You’ve just grown numb to it. This is where a dopamine detox comes in. (More on that in an upcoming post.)

The Formula in Three Steps

Here’s the essence:

1. Eliminate tasks that don’t have a real reason behind them.
2. Identify what’s truly blocking you from doing the things that matter.
3. Reset your ability to feel joy with a dopamine detox.

Add These Mindset Shifts

• Focus only on what you can control. Stop wasting energy on things you can’t.
• Stop wanting things you realistically can’t achieve.
• Accept that some things are out of reach, and shift your energy to things you can accomplish.
• Understand how pleasure works in your life and how to use it wisely.
• Plan only for tasks you genuinely care about.

Start Now

Don’t wait for “someday.” It’s not coming. Simplify your list, rediscover your joy, and get moving today.