What I learned at Military Service
- The real world is very different from a corner of a café where a few like-minded people gather.
- Bahman cigarettes are still being produced.
- One cigarette can cost up to 5,000 Tomans. A lighter flame costs 500 Tomans.
- You can sell one cigarette for up to 10,000 Tomans. A lighter flame for 2,000 Tomans.
- Fatigue and sleeplessness can prevent you from stopping someone 20 centimeters away from falling and breaking their neck.
- Humans can cross the boundaries of shamelessness even under normal conditions, let alone during military service.
- A person can sleep 2 hours and work like a mule for 48 hours, howling like a dog without affecting anyone.
- Without any drugs, you can hallucinate after 48 hours of sleep deprivation.
- In military service, a person reaches their most worthless state, where being killed is only tragic because of the paperwork and time it takes to file a death report.
- Older men respect you more than younger ones, especially if you wear military attire.
- Short hair isn’t bad (don’t confuse it with being bald).
- Neither in military service nor outside should you rely on anyone’s word. You are you, and that’s it.
- Due to constant humiliation and degradation in the barracks, you may want to marry someone who values you more than an animal. But know that marrying during service is the biggest mistake of your life.
- Pass responsibility onto someone else to avoid potential troubles, just as others pass responsibility onto you.
- Humans can become homosexual after a certain period in the barracks—some sooner, some later.
- In military service, 24 hours of leave are worth as much as 24 years of life before service.
- You can stand 72 hours in a windowless room with icy water on the floor and invent new combinations of curses.
- Being in a relationship during service is a double-edged sword. On one hand, it’s good that someone cares about your dire situation; on the other, it can become a tool to increase pressure on you.
- Being in a relationship allows you to spend 36 hours in the barracks without anyone noticing.
- In the barracks, you are a workforce, not a human being. Everything revolves around this idea. Leave your personality, skills, and achievements at home and bring yourself to the barracks.
- Submit your posts on time. This is not your aunt’s house.
- No crane can lift a soldier serving 19 months. The battalion commander is another matter.
- Trust your friends only as much as you trust your ability to walk a rope 2,000 feet above ground.
- When barracks residents no longer have the energy to get out of bed, a frog could shoot a pistol.
- Failing to control anger in certain environments can have irreversible consequences.
- You can be punished for obeying the rules (rest in peace, Henri Surreau).
- In some environments, logic is worth as much as your alley cat’s rear fur.
- Even if 200 days have passed and you are in another country, your military nightmares will not leave you.
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