Although a little over ten days have passed since the shock i experienced in ankara, today i can say that i’m fully stabilized and everything is back on track. the work environment is extremely energetic and ideal. i managed to rent a decent apartment near the company. on weekends, i do an extra day... Read All

This note has been resting in my backpack for a while. every time i listen to this amazing performance, words that don’t seem connected keep replaying in my mind. tonight i tried to link them together, but i didn’t get a satisfactory result. so, in the same style as this piece, i’m publishing it bol... Read All

A few days ago, after several months, i went to beşiktaş pier. the day i left istanbul, i never thought i would ever feel so happy to return. while pouring my heart out to the sea, a scene caught my attention. a not-so-innocent teenager asked an elderly alcoholic (probably homeless) man to give him ... Read All

Statistics and numbers from a year of consistent writing this post was originally meant to be published before nowruz 2019, but due to certain events that happened in the last days of the year, it stayed unpublished until today. it’s also slightly improved and more complete now. over the past ... Read All

Less than a week ago, on march 13, following a wave across turkey targeting foreigners, i found myself unexpectedly caught up in the chaos with my jaw dropped and eyes wide open, without any warning or preparation. exhausted and frustrated with my company situation, i packed my things without resist... Read All

Yesterday evening, i decided to make my final efforts before completely sinking into depression and try to shift my mood a bit. of the three problems i faced, i left one to fate, forgot the second, and dealt with the third and main one by letting it go. my mood isn’t perfect, but it’s much better th... Read All

Spring rain falls, and in the corners of the hills and mountains, you can see fresh green grass and tree blossoms about to bloom. normally, i should feel good, but here i am, sitting in a café near my home, writing these lines. in recent days, the foundations of my life have collapsed, and i lost... Read All

The days pass like lightning and wind, and i am bewildered, struggling to break free from the habit of waiting. the habit of expecting the current “thing” to end. i have spent a lifetime waiting and being promised that once this critical situation passes, i will live. but this so-called critical sit... Read All

F. banafshe in her recent post suggested that sharing loneliness makes it smaller and more bearable. a diagram came to my mind illustrating this theory, showing that dividing loneliness not only diminishes it but actually questions it entirely. when “we” lonely people are alone only for ourselves... Read All

The following paragraphs have been written over some time. the point i want to make is clear, and the way to say it is straightforward. but the first paragraph refuses to come. we’re stubborn. this piece has no introduction, no preamble, no lead-in. damn it. i crave single-focus living. i want to... Read All

Nearly ten months have passed since my migration. i’ve accumulated a mountain of experiences and discovered new dimensions of resilience within myself. challenges that, if someone hasn’t faced them, seem like fleeting, abstract problems, transform into issues that jolt you day and night, from the mo... Read All

Even numbers are divisible by two integers, and odd numbers are divisible by two in a meaningless way. if you halve an even number, you get two whole concepts. halve an odd number, and you get two incomplete concepts. like any other incomplete thing: it exists, but you wish it didn’t. like the nu... Read All